Posted in Family, Kent Family, Life, life skills, parent blogger, thoughtfullness

Being a Mother without a Mother 

You problay guessed from my previous blog that I 100% think cancer sucks! 

If you haven’t have a scroll down for a read…

This is problay one of the hardest posts I have written. But guess what people need to know what it’s like to be a mum without a Mother.  Yes I have family, my cousin is practically mummy number 2 to Bell and Bear. I have my aunts and grandmothers too to ask for advice but you know what as much as I adore them it’s so not the same picking up the phone or popping round to see your own mum. 

Cancer has stolen so much, it’s stolen the connection of my mum watching me become a mum, watching her grandchildren grow and nature. Missed ny wedding day (but thats another post!) Having me phone up asking totally random questions, her offering to take a load of washing, or having the children during the day so I can do housework. Missing my mum seeing her grandchildren take their first step ladder, first word, first tooth, first day of school the list goes on and on.

It’s hard hearing people moan and complain and wish their mum would back of and let them bring up their children without any interference. Even though I know I would probably be the same too! 

Some people say that being a parent changes you and you really don’t know the bond you actually feel when you have your own children. It’s very hard to comprehend especially when you are motherless or fatherless. 

Each step your child makes, makes you think that someone is missing, someone should be there with you, other than your other half, husband or wife. It should be your mum. 

When your feeling poorly and you struggle through the day when all you really want is to call your mum up and she comes straight over and tells you to go to bed. 

Like I said I do have amazing cousins and my aunts but they work practically 24/7 So it’s very hard to be able to do this. 

I feel guilty that my mother in law sees the children weekly, and my mum is missing out. 

The world certainly changes, when your a mum I wouldn’t know if it would be easier if mum was here or not but if your mum is still about please don’t take leave her out of your children’s lives. You are so luckily she is offering to help, annoy you, buy the children endless amounts of sweets and magazines, clothes you may not like and give them junk food! 

Let them have the relationship as my two certainly won’t have a relationship with my mum

People who haven’t lost a mum or dad (I mean this in the nicest of ways obviously!!) Really really do not understand the emotions going through the mind of somebody who has lost their mum or their father. It doesn’t matter how old you are when you lose your mum it 100% doesn’t get any easier, the pain may ease but it’s always and always will be the first and last thing you think about during your child’s day to day life’s.  

Posted in Book's, clothing, Disney, Family, girl, Home made, Kent Family, Life, love, parent, Pepper pig, son, Uncategorized

Creating a space without …..

 

I feel sad that Bear and Bell have to share a bedroom, I would so love them to have their own personal space where they can chill-out and have their own me time. Living in a flat is so hard at time’s, especially day’s when I know Bear want’s his own space and his own time now his getting bigger.

It is also hard to think about making a lovely bedroom for a boy and girl which won’t look odd, which they won’t grow out of and especially they both will like. I choose originally half pink and half blue bedroom which was nice but Bell and Bear drew on the walls! Hubby was in charge! Now they have  white lining painted wall’s, beautiful Bunting and some of their stunning art work! It work’s really well.

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When Bear was born I was very adamant that he wouldn’t have clothes, bedroom or bedding with character’s on such as Pepper Pig or Thomas the tank engine. I feel quite proud that he hardly had anything like that. Please do not get me wrong he had a few bit’s of Thomas the Tank clothing but that was about it. Same with Bell, she has a few Pepper Pig bits of clothing and Shoes but nothing over the top.

Please also do not get me wrong the Nightie and Pajamas draw is full of character’s such as Elsa from Frozen, Pepper pig, Spider-man and Toy story.

I don’t know why I don’t really like character clothing on children. It does look cute, but for me personally growing up their wasn’t a wide range of clothing like that, so I never had that type of clothing.

If Bell and Bear ask for something with Pepper Pig or Spider man I certainly will not say no, as it is their personal choice and I fully encourage their development of personal choice and independence.

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Posted in Uncategorized

Cancer sucks

Here is the deal Cancer sucks! It sucks so much!
It is a horrible illness which eats away at you from the inside and sometimes the outside too, You can not have any side effects until the last minute, some times you catch it at the start. It can tear families apart, it can make families get closer.
Why am I writing about Cancer? My mum had cancer. Cancer of the bone, breast, brain and liver.
She sadly passed away after a short battle. I’ve seen things that you would not want you worse enemy to see. I have seen a dead body. My mind has seemed to block that image out. I’ve watched men, woman and children have chemo, I’ve seen people loose their hair.
I have experienced first hand that losing a mum at 26 is horrible (any age is horrible!)
She has missed out on meeting her grandson and granddaughter, she has missed my wedding day, she has missed Bears first’s and Bell’s first’s.
She has missed many birthdays and birthday parties.
I found out I was pregnant officially the day before the anniversary of her 2nd year parting I’m sure it was a sign.
So it bugs me when people moan about there mums,they should be so lucky that they are alive and want to see their grandchildren some people and grandchildren aren’t so lucky

Posted in Uncategorized

The bond is Growing…

How amazing it is to see siblings bond? There is about 2 year age gap between my two, when Bell was born bear came to visit with his aunty and uncle (seriously no idea how we would of coped as all my family work 8-6 90% of the time, but my cousin was manager of a restaurant so swapped shifts about to help) anyway Bear was more interested in the machines in the room than the new baby!
Once Bell started walking and babbling Bear was more interested to play.
Now at 5 and almost 3 the bond is amazing. Bell really misses him when his at school and Bear misses her too!
I really can not wait until the school holidays where they can spend time together, they are already writing where they want to go?!